#his narrator in the middle of that fourth skip denying as hard as he can that he's seething over nick waiting

[qualitative-decay]

the skip button,, is probably the one ending nick's narrator goes through, and doesn't make him do again.

it simply fucked him up Too much. enough that trying to fix or even understand his reaction,, the notion of going through it again is more distressing than any amount of internal inconsistency he could feel. and doesn't it make sense, anyway? that's a, that's a normal thing to have a strong reaction to, there's.... there's no need to look at it any closer! it's fine. he's fine.

nick, i think,, probably was starting to actually be more present, over the course of the memory zone?? it's something new, it's so different from the office, it's calming, nothing bad has happened to him yet. it's.... it's actually pretty nice.

and this side of his narrator,, feels like an echo of something he'd mostly forgotten. he... probably even has some emotions about that. somewhere in there.

even with the bad reviews & the unease he is starting to Actually feel in a more concrete sense, by the time they actually get to the skip button room, nick is more present than he's been in a long time, and he doesn't like it.

the first couple skips, he waits at Least until the narrator loops or goes silent.

the fourth skip, with the extended guilt trip, he gets stuck on.

(this, too, is an echo of something he'd mostly forgotten. before he understood how this worked, before he'd shut himself down so completely.

he just... he'd tried so hard to get through, avoid, go around, bypass in any way the barriers his narrator put up. it's not like it took him long to work out just where he was being forced to go. he didn't understand, and he didn't want to go back, he didn't think his narrator wanted him to go back there either! so why was he doing this, it hurt both of them, he's sorry, please just let him make it up to him, force him to go down any other route if he has to still take the choice away, just please don't make them go through this again please —)

he. actively tries to make himself dissociate again, during that segment. he doesn't want to do any of this. he knows that would make it easier. his skin is crawling with that fear he felt the First time his narrator forced him to hurt both of them, and he can't figure out how to make it stop.

he is very, very familiar with only having one path forward by now.

forcing himself to move past that skip, does prove to be a breaking point for nick; the parallel is too much. the, he's going to make me do this again, he's going to make both of us do this over and over and over until he's satisfied, is too much.

by the time the reset hits & that doesn't happen? he's too far back under the static to even feel relieved.